Yesterday my husband received a warning letter from my sewing machine.
It read like this:
It breaks my heart to tell you this but I am considering retirement in the near future.
The reason for this is your neglect of my existence. It hurts my needles to tell you how hard it is for me to be set aside in isolation, not cared for, deprived of all the sewing joys for the past couple of months. I cannot describe the feeling of despair not being able to run my feet over all that new fabulous fabric my Mistress has brought home.
All this due to your lack of interest and will to aid a suffering domestic contributor. My ailments are not incurable. As a matter of fact this regards only a mild condition of regulating plates being in a wrong order. It would take only a slice of your valuable time to put yet another effort and I believe I will be fine.
I know for sure that my Mistress is at the verge of her patience and I am afraid her claiming to buy one of those new Singer machines she has been eyeing for quite a while now is not just an empty threat! So in order to save your wallet and my life, I beg you, please HELP ME!
You know where you can find me. I shall be patiently waiting for you!
The almost abandoned sewing machine
I might just add that I too am expecting your answer my dear husband!